Forgiveness: The Best Way to Ring in 2010

Well, here it is, nearly 7 months since my last post, and just a few short days until 2010. So many incredible and exciting changes have taken place over this half-year plus that I wasn’t even sure where to begin, or if I could even pick up where I left off, since I personally have grown and changed greatly in the time that has passed, and I have so many new ideas and directions that I want to take this blog.

I have also been feeling guilty for months for not writing, especially for those of you who have been following the Seven Decisions for Success….  But then it hit me: this is the perfect bridge into the Sixth Decision, and for finishing what I have started. When the decisions are finished, I can easily move into whatever direction I wish, since these decisions still influence me each and every day.

Why is this perfect, you may ask? Simple. The subject is forgiveness. For some, forgiveness is the easiest thing in the world, except, of course, when it comes to yourself. For others, forgiving oneself is a cinch, but forgiving others is absolutely unthinkable or perhaps harder than you would like it to be.

Whether we like it or not, we have been raised to react and behave in certain ways. We watched our parents, and saw their patterns of forgiveness, or lack thereof. Perhaps we were taught that behaving in certain ways was sinful and that we must beat ourselves up if we are not perfect. We have seen TV shows, movies and plays of people who could not forgive someone for something that maybe they did not even do.

My main point is, is that countless hours of energy are wasted in the lack of forgiving, ourselves or someone else. When we harbor this anger and resentment toward another or ourselves, we become a vessel for these bad feelings, and this takes up space that could be used to actually enjoy our present moment and the moments to come. And, since we get what we focus on, with all of this energy on these bad feelings, more bad things happen, then we get more things to be angry about, and thus the cycle continues.

However, we DO have a choice. I know. Although I feel fortunate to have grown up in a household where holding grudges was considered a waste of energy, it took me many years to learn to not beat myself up for things I did or said (particularly when I was in my 20s), simply because I held myself to very high standards. Not only did I feel I was being judged by others (which, in truth, I may or may not have been), I was harshly judging myself, and I didn’t even realize that although I was able to forgive others, I was not doing this kindness to myself.

However, as I grew and changed, I started to realize that it was a choice. I did not have to live this way. I could simply take a lesson from a mistake I had made, move on, and love myself in my imperfection; that, just as it is a waste of energy to harbor a resentment against another, the same goes for harboring a resentment against oneself. So, now, not only when I find myself angry at others am I able to love them and forgive them in their imperfection, and realize that their thoughts and opinions and actions do not affect me or my path unless I allow them to do so, the same goes for myself. It is very liberating, not to mention a very lovely and freeing way to live!

Perhaps you can relate or perhaps your experience is quite different. No matter where you are in terms of your relationship with forgiveness, the Sixth Decision for Success, from Andy Andrews’ The Traveler’s Gift (pp. 138-140), will positively affect you in your path. Remember that it takes at least 21 days to create a new habit or way of thinking, so, just as the book suggests, read the following passage each morning when you wake up, and each night before you go to bed for 21 days and nights, and see the changes that take place.

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The Sixth Decision for Success

I will greet this day with a forgiving spirit.

For too long, every ounce of forgiveness I owned was locked away, hidden from view, waiting for me to bestow its precious presence upon some worth person. Alas, I found most people to be singularly unworthy of my valuable forgiveness, and since they never asked for any, I kept it all for myself. Now the forgiveness that I hoarded has sprouted inside my heart like a crippled seed yielding bitter fruit.

No more! At this moment, my life has taken on new hope and assurance. Of all the world’s population, I am one of the few possessors of the secret to dissipating anger and resentment. I now understand that forgiveness has value only when it is given away. By the simple act of granting forgiveness, I release the demons of the past about which I can do nothing, and I create in myself a new heart, a new beginning.

I will greet this day with a forgiving spirit. I will forgive even those who do not ask for forgiveness.

Many are the times when I have seethed in anger at a word or deed thrown into my life by an unthinking or uncaring person. I have wasted valuable hours imagining revenge or confrontation. Now I see the truth revealed about this psychological rock inside my shoe. The rage I nurture is often one-sided, for my offender seldom gives thought to his offense!

I will now and forever more silently offer my forgiveness even to those who do not see that they need it. By the act of forgiving, I am no longer consumed by unproductive thoughts. I give up my bitterness. I am content in my soul and effective again with my fellow man.

I will greet this day with a forgiving spirit. I will forgive those who criticize me unjustly.

Knowing that slavery in any form is wrong, I also know that a person who lives a life according to the opinion of others is a slave. I am not a slave. I have chosen my counsel. I know the difference between right and wrong. I know what is best for the future of my family, and neither misguided opinion nor unjust criticism will alter my course.

Those who are critical of my goals and dreams simply do not understand the higher purpose to which I have been called. Therefore, their scorn does not affect my attitude or action. I forgive their lack of vision, and I forge ahead. I now know that criticism is part of the price paid for leaping past mediocrity.

I will greet this day with a forgiving spirit. I will forgive myself.

For many years my greatest enemy has been myself. Every mistake, every miscalculation, every stumble I made has been replayed again and again in my mind. Every broken promise, every day wasted, every goal not reached has compounded the disgust I feel for the lack of achievement in my life. My dismay has developed a paralyzing grip. When I disappoint myself, I respond with inaction and become more disappointed.

I realize today that it is impossible to fight an enemy living in my head. By forgiving myself, I erase the doubts, fears, and frustration that have kept my past in the present. From this day forward, my history will cease to control my destiny. I have forgiven myself. My life has just begun.

I will forgive even those who do not ask for forgiveness. I will forgive those who criticize me unjustly. I will forgive myself.

I will greet this day with a forgiving spirit.

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Just writing this for you all allows me to also let go of the fact that I haven’t written my blog for 7 months! It also shines a light on something I believe in whole-heartedly: that we can change our future beginning right now, in this very moment.

Forgiveness gives us is the power to stop bringing the past into the present, and the ability to create whatever fantastic future we wish to create. What’s past is past. We can take the lessons, forgive ourselves, forgive others, and move bravely forward into the beautiful present and future that is here before us…. What a perfect thought as we are about to ring in a truly amazing new year.

Until we meet again… Much Happiness and Love now and in the New Year to come!!

Becky Ringler

www.FreeYoursSuccessfulMindToday.com

The Choice of a Smile, of Laughter, of Happiness…

When you hear the word happiness, I am wondering what comes to mind for you… Do you feel that is your natural state? Is it something elusive that you wish you had more of? Is it something that floats in and out of your life? Just let that roll of your tongue… Happiness. Does it conjure up any visions or feelings?

Now try smiling (if you are not already). Just do it. It is amazing how instantly, no matter how resistant we are, that we cannot help but be uplifted, even just a bit, when we smile. I read something once – I believe it was in one of Malcolm Gladwell’s books (Blink, I think) – that said that a study was done, and they found that the actual physical act of smiling chemically released feelings of happiness, just as the act of frowning actually could make you feel quite sad and depressed, even if you weren’t when you started off. I encourage you to try this throughout the day and see what happens. Well, actually, I would encourage the smiling part, not the frowning part (I tried that once for just a few minutes and I felt so bad that I vowed never to do it again intentionally), since the idea is to bring more happiness into our lives rather than the other way around.

I put the smiling part to the test for the first time a few years ago, when I was running my first, and so far last, marathon. I had been training many months, and was set to finish at under 4 hours or so. However, during our final training run I injured my knee quite badly. I had taken three weeks off before the race, as my coach had suggested, and hoped for the best. However, when the great day came, I got about a mile into the race and realized that I was not going to have the race I had hoped. Nonetheless, after letting the realization of all of this sink in, I decided to keep running anyway. I decided that I was going to finish the race, no matter how long it took me. And I was going to do it with a smile on my face.

So, I developed this little hobble movement that allowed me to keep “running” but that adjusted for my injury, and I kept keeping myself pepped up, as did the coaches who ran with me and the crowd. Nonetheless, I swear to you, when I began to feel the pain overtaking me or the disappointment settle in, I simply forced myself to smile. And, wouldn’t you know it, I began to feel better – euphoric, even. Of course, my smile also won over the cheering crowds, who shouted my name when I passed, encouraged coaches I didn’t even know to come over and run with me, all sorts of wonderful things.

But really, a smile does much more than help you feel better. It is your doorway into the heart of the people you come into contact with, and it has more power than you could ever imagine. Happiness can be with us if we just allow ourselves to be there more often. I noticed that I after reading Andy Andrews’ (www.andyandrews.com) Fifth Decision for Success from The Traveler’s Gift (for the first four, see my past blogs or get this great book!), and for diligently practicing this for the past month, I am finding that I am noticing more when I am happy and when I am not. I am also noticing that I am even more happy than usual because I know now that it is my choice.

Just as Beyond Freedom (one of the products we market and use in my business; see my website at the end of this post for more info) talks about, everything in our life is a choice; we are not at the whim of the external world, but rather have the power to view the world as we wish, and to create a reality for ourselves that is filled with joy, happiness and abundance.

This is hard for many to wrap their minds around, but I ask you to simply consider that you do have a choice about how you feel at any give moment, and that you can be at cause in your life, rather than at effect at any time you choose. So why not choose to be more happy?

Andrew’s passage (pp.108-110) from the Traveler’s Gift puts this into a wonderful perspective:

The Fifth Decision for Success

Today I will choose to be happy.

Beginning this very moment, I am a happy person, for I now truly understand the concept of happiness. Few others before me have been able to grasp the truth of the physical law that enables one to live happily every day. I know now that happiness is not an emotional phantom floating in and out of my life. Happiness is a choice. Happiness is the end result of certain thoughts and activities, which actually bring about a chemical reaction in my body. This reaction results in a euphoria that, while elusive to some, is totally under my control.

Today I will choose to be happy. I will greet each day with laughter.

Within moments of awakening, I will laugh for seven seconds. Even after such a small period of time, excitement has begun to flow through my bloodstream. I feel different, I am different! I am enthusiastic about the day. I am alert to its possibilities. I am happy!

Laughter is an outward expression of enthusiasm, and I know that enthusiasm is the fuel that moves the world. I laugh throughout the day. I laugh while I am alone, and I laugh in conversation with others. People are drawn to me because I have laughter in my heart. The world belongs to the enthusiastic, for people will follow them anywhere.

Today I will choose to be happy. I will smile at every person I meet.

My smile has become my calling card. It is, after all, the most potent weapon I possess. My smile has the strength to forge bonds, break ice, and calm storms. I will use my smile constantly. Because of my smile, the people with whom I come in contact on a daily basis will choose to further my causes and follow my leadership. I will always smile first. That particular display of a good attitude will tell others what I expect in return.

Today I will choose to be happy. I am the possessor of a grateful spirit.

In the past, I have found discouragement in particular situations until I compared the condition of my life to others less fortunate. Just as a fresh breeze cleans smoke from the air, so a grateful spirit removes the cloud of despair. It is impossible for the seeds of depression to take root in a thankful heart.

My God has bestowed upon me many gifts, and for those I will remember to be grateful. Too many times I have offered up the prayers of a beggar, always asking for more and forgetting to give thanks. I do not wish to be seen as a greedy child, unappreciative and disrespectful. I am grateful for sight and sound and breath. If ever in my life there is a pouring out of blessings beyond that, then I will be grateful for the miracle of abundance.

I will greet each day with laughter. I will smile at every person I meet. I am the possessor of a grateful spirit.

Today I will choose to be happy.

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I again encourage you to get your hands on a copy of the whole book, since each story that proceeds each decision is almost as powerful as the decision itself. I also I remind and encourage you, as Andrews suggests, to read the above passage every morning and every night for the next 21 days straight, and see how it gets into your consciousness.

So, I urge you to give this happiness thing a good go, and to experiment and see what happens if you laugh for seven seconds every morning (it is amazing how when you force yourself to laugh long enough, you cannot help but laugh for real), as well as what happens if you smile at every person you meet (in a genuine way, not a creepy way, of course!) and see how this affects your life and your moods on a day to day basis.

I would love to hear how this goes for any of you, and I wish you a lovely month!

Sending joy, hope and abundance your way,

Becky Ringler

www.FreeYourSuccessfulMindToday.com

What is YOUR Vision for the Future?

Last month I touched upon the idea of taking action. Of not being afraid to take some bold steps to really go for your dreams. Which, of course, if you did so for the first time (or have done so in the past), most likely caused you to step out of your comfort zone. And this stepping out of your comfort zone to do the things you need to do to get to that goal really does make you a Person of Action! Congratulations! You’ve taken a really huge step forward on your path to success.

So this month, since you’ve begun taking some action, I’d like to touch upon the topic of what keeps you going, especially during the times that taking the actions you are taking to get where you want to go are not so easy.

Simply put, you’ve got to have a clear vision of the future, and that vision has to be something that fills you with so much passion that you do not mind – no - you do not care if taking action takes you outside of your comfort zone. If you see clearly where you are going, and you know in your heart that you will get there, no matter how long it takes, then you will truly keep on going, no matter what stretching you have to do, no matter what anyone else says. Because, as a favorite mentor of mine, Shannon Lavenia, would say, it’s like watching a movie you already know the ending to. No matter what happens during the movie, no matter how many things occur to make you think it may not work out, you know that the end will come out the same every time, because you’ve seen it before. You know what happens.

Well, if you have a clear vision of your future, if you have, as Andy Andrews (www.andyandrews.com) would say, a decided heart, and you have played the outcome over and over in your mind, like a movie, and you know the ending, then it doesn’t matter what plot twists occur; you know the outcome. You WILL reach your goal.

I know this works, because I have just had a very clear and exciting example of this come up in my own life. One that took me from a severe injury into recovery, and onto TV! I have posted the story of this separately, under Addendum to What is YOUR Vision for the Future?, and I invite you to read it at your leisure.

The whole point of the story, however, is that the outcome provided me with a very important reminder: that anything truly is possible when you have a clear vision. And seeing it actually come to fruition right before my eyes helped me to see that really, you can have anything you desire if you just make a decision, have a vision, and proceed as though it is so. It was this clarity that truly helped me shape an even clearer vision about where I am going and who I am.

And, wouldn’t you know it? All of a sudden, my business began exploding at an even faster pace than ever before and more and more amazing things seem to be happening to me every day. Why? Because I know where I am going with my business, and with my life.

I am simply being the leader I know myself to be, doing the things a leader does, and I am having the results a leader has (Be, Do, Have).

As John Lavenia (www.johnlavenia.com) says in his book, Integrity is Everything (p.30), “A leader is a person with vision….They have a guaranteed future outcome. It is an unshakable purpose. It is an attitude that says, ‘I will not be denied!’”

Well, folks, let’s not be denied! I remind you that you surely have something that is driving you toward your goals, something specific. If you are passionate about those goals, and have a clear vision about where you are going, if you have a decided heart, and you do what you need to do to get there, then you will, without question, make that vision a reality.

 The following passage from Andy Andrews’ The Traveler’s Gift (www.andyandrews.com) addresses just this topic, and I expect you will get a lot out of reading it. It actually made me cry the first time I read it aloud; I was filled with such a feeling of passion and vision for my future… From Andy Andrews’ The Traveler’s Gift (pp. 87-89):

The Fourth Decision for Success 

I have a decided heart. 

A wise man once said, “A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.” Knowing this to be true, I am taking my first step today. For too long my feet have been tentative, shuffling left and right, more backward than forward as my heart gauged the direction of the wind. Criticism, condemnation, and complaint are creatures of the wind. They come and go on the wasted breath of lesser beings, and have no power over me. The power to control direction belongs to me. Today I will begin to exercise tat power. My course has been charted. My destiny is assured.

 I have a decided heart. I am passionate about my vision for the future. 

I will awaken every morning with an excitement about the new day and its opportunity for growth and change. My thoughts and actions will work in a forward motion, never sliding into the dark forest of doubt or the muddy quicksand of self-pity. I will freely give my vision for the future to others, and as they see the belief in my eyes, they will follow me. 

I will lay my head on my pillow at night happily exhausted, knowing that I have done everything within my power to move the mountains in my path. As I sleep, the same dream that dominates my waking hours will be with me in the dark. Yes, I have a dream. It is a great dream, and I will never apologize for it. Neither will I ever let it go, for if I did, my life would be finished. My hopes, my passions, my vision for the future are my very existence. A person without a dream never had a dream come true.

I have a decided heart. I will not wait.

I know that the purpose of analysis is to come to a conclusion. I have tested the angles. I have measured the probabilities. And now I have made a decision with my heart. I am not timid. I will move now and not look back. What I put off until tomorrow, I will put off until the next day as well. I do not procrastinate. All my problems become smaller when I confront them. If I touch a thistle with caution, it will prick me, but if I grasp it boldly, its spines crumble into dust.

I will not wait. I am passionate about my vision for the future. My course has been charted. My destiny is assured.

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I again encourage you to get your hands on a copy of the whole book, since each story that preceeds each decision is almost as powerful as the decision itself. I also I remind and encourage you, as Andrews suggests, to read the above passage every morning and every night for the next 21 days straight, and see how it gets into your consciousness. 

I also encourage you to get very clear on your goals and your vision for the future. For, when you have a decided heart, you cannot lose. Again, please see my addendum posting for a personal example of this!

I look forward to hearing about your experiences, or of how this or any of the things mentioned here have affected you, and I wish you a lovely month!

Sending  joy, hope and abundance your way,

Becky Ringler

www.FreeYourSuccessfulMindToday.com

Addendum to What is YOUR Vision for the Future?

This posting is an addendum to my posting entitled, “What is YOUR Vision for the Future?” If you haven’t yet read that one, then I encourage you to do so first for this to make the most sense and have greater meaning.

In the above-mentioned posting, I had discussed that I had experienced something in my own life just recently that demonstrated how having a clear vision for the future really does make all of the difference.

Although I’ve seen this clarity of vision play out big in my business and in all sorts of things, this first-hand example reminded me just how simple things are, and how the law of attraction works to make the vision of  a decided heart a reality.

After a suffering from a severe spinal disc injury last summer, I was lying at my future in-laws’ house, late at night, unable to sleep due to the pain. I had chosen not to take any pain medication, since my chiropractor and I agreed it would help my body be able to heal faster.

Needless to say, I was uncomfortable, and was wondering what on earth I was going to do to stay in shape for my wedding coming up in a few months. I was unable to get out of bed, much less do any of the exercise I had been accustomed to most of my adult life. Marathons were a thing of the past, and even pilates was to stressful for my back.

I had been spending a lot of time visualizing myself doing cartwheels across an open lawn, skipping, running again, and all things that, to me, were youthful and carefree movements. I knew that this could still be a possibility for me; after all, I had recovered from my original back injury that happened back in 2006, and this time I was receiving aggressive chiropractic care from someone who specialized in disc injuries (and even getting home visits!).

However, I still did not know how, aside from my chiropractic care, I was going to get there again. But I did have a clear vision of myself feeling youthful and carefree and strong and healthy. And I knew that the answer would appear to me. So, it was during this time, late at night, in pain and unable to sleep, that I found the how, watching a late night TV infomercial: The Contour Core Sculpting System (a.k.a. the “ab belt”; www.thecontour.com ). Yes, I found the how on an infomercial (ironic for someone who doesn’t watch much TV!). I saw how this ab belt electronically stimulated one’s entire core to create rock hard abs, and a strong midsection. Of course, I knew a strong core was the key to my own recovery.

So, I decided against my logical brain, and went with what my intuition was telling me. I bought the belt, I used it, and it worked! In fact, due to my limited movement, it was the only “exercise” I had for quite a while (you can literally strap this thing on and sit on the sofa), save for walks, which I had begun taking as much as I could tolerate.

At my wedding three months later in October, I was almost fully recovered and looked great. My chiropractor (and my visualizations) had helped push the disc back into place, and my ab belt had made my core strong. 

It was just about a month ago, however, that everything really started coming together. The weather had turned nice, and I kept envisioning myself running again. So, I decided to go. And I did! No pain! My body felt great. I added distance each day little by little, alternating with walking when necessary. My vision of myself had come to be.

I feel strong and young and healthy, just like my vision of myself. I had refused to believe that I would be limited or crippled or would need surgery. And I didn’t. In fact, I feel almost as good as new. My regular doctor is amazed at my disc recovery (there is almost NO bulge in my disc at all, and the before and after MRI images are amazing), and is very pleased with the results.

That, in itself, is proof enough that having a strong vision does lead you to the outcome you desire. I knew I would be strong and healthy again.

However, the fun part of the story comes in now. Right after I had come back from taking one of my first longer runs a few weeks back, I went to get the mail. In it was an invitation from the Contour Ab Belt people asking for submissions of success stories. The winners would be flown to Hawaii for a week with a guest, and would be filmed on TV for a new, long form of their commercial.

Instantly, I knew I was going to win. I was going to go to Hawaii and be in their commercial. I had the letter next to my computer on my desk for about a week. I looked at it every day, knowing that I was going to be chosen. Finally, the night before the deadline, I wrote an impassioned email with my story, found an appropriate “before” picture, which had been taken shortly after the first time I’d hurt my back, and had my husband take a series of after pictures of me in a bikini. We chose the best ones, and I submitted the whole thing online. I knew I would be hearing from them because I had the vision of the future very clear inside my mind.

Sure enough, the very next week, I received an email saying that I had been chosen for an interview, asking if they call me? Hmmm. Let me think…. Yes. The producer actually called me that very evening, and I knew as soon as I had gotten off of the phone with him that I was going to be one of the six chosen.

Two days later, I got an email congratulating me. I had been selected! I am going to Hawaii, and I am going to be on TV, sharing my success story. In fact, I leave on May 10^th.  And I am ready.

The point of this whole story is that it both demonstrated to me and reminded me that it truly is so much simpler to have what you want when your vision of the future is clear. I knew the ending, and I never once doubted the outcome, of either my own physical recovery or of getting the trip to Hawaii and being in the commercial. And it reminded me just how easy it is to have whatever any of us want, as long as we have a decided heart.

Are YOU a Person of Action?

As usual, it has taken me longer than expected to post a new blog! I don’t know why I am constantly surprised at how quickly time passes. Here it is, already the end of the month, and I am not even sure how we got here!  They say that time flies when you are having fun, and I certainly am more than grateful to have time fly rather than just the opposite!

The topic that I’d like to touch upon this month is about taking action. How many times in your life have you started something or wanted to start something, but never finished or even got started, despite really wanting to do it? We, as people, are great at making excuses about why we never did something that we really wanted to do, or why we just gave up and never finished: I don’t have time; I won’t be successful; I don’t think this really works; it’s good for other people, but not for me; I don’t know how and don’t want to bother to learn; I’m better off not wasting my time since I don’t want to be let down; it’s too hard; it’s way to risky, and what if I fail? I guess life is fine the way it is…. Any of these sound familiar?

The truth is, many of us are just too afraid to take action, because taking action might take us out of our comfort zone, might set us up for failure, might bring criticism from people around us. And it’s true, it’s scary to take action sometimes, to make a change, to really commit to doing something we really want to try and to not give up on our dreams, even if that means we fall down a few times. But the rewards are truly amazing when you finally do make it.

So many people give up just when they are inches from the finish line. It is the perseverence, belief and ACTION that makes the difference. You’ll never even begin to get to the top of the mountain if you don’t start walking up, one step at a time.

As someone who HAS taken some bold steps in this past year, I can tell you that it is truly exhilerating to have stepped off the cliff into the great unknown. It has not always been easy or smooth. And, frankly, there have been times that it has been downright scary, but that scariness was more exciting than I ever could have imagined, and the rewards have much outweighed the uncomfortability of the unknown. And, luckily, I have had my Beyond Freedom Program (the 90-day personal development home study course that is the core of our product base) assisting me every step of the way, helping me identify limiting beliefs, and assisting me in creating a blue print for success, each of which is different every time I go through the program, because I have grown and am at a different place each time I go through it.

I’ll tell you, though, I feel more alive now than ever before, and feel grateful every day I took the leap of faith to follow my passion for freedom and life with the personal development business I started (www.BelieveInSuccessToday.com), and that I was bold and brave enough to go forward, despite the naysayers and fears from loved ones and others around me when I first began.

Now, if you are saying to yourself at this moment, “That’s nice for you, but I don’t need to be at the top or to do anything special. I am just fine just the way I am, exactly as I am.”  Then I say to you, number one, I am glad that you are indeed content with the life you are living, for being grateful to where we are in this exact moment is one of the greatest accomplishments. But if there is a part of you that truly wishes for something more, to pursue your dreams, for something better for yourself and your family, but you are caught by limiting beliefs, beliefs that tell you that it is wrong or bad to want more in your life, or that you’ll never amount to anything, or that you should never take a risk, then I challenge you to think about what it is that you really want. And I challenge you to go for it, to realize that you DO deserve to have everything you want, and that you CAN have it. You just have to make a decision, and then take some action.

The following passage just might inspire you to do so, since taking action is the topic of  the “Third Decision for Success” which is the next in a series of seven from Andy Andrews’ The Traveler’s Gift (www.andyandrews.com; I again encourage you to get your hands on a copy of the whole book, since each story that proceeds each decision is almost as powerful as the decision itself).  I remind and encourage you, as Andrews suggests, to read the below passage every morning and every night for the next 21 days straight, and see how it gets into your consciousness.  Here is the passage from Andrews’ The Traveler’s Gift (pp. 69-71): 

The Third Decision for Success

I am a person of action.

Beginning today, I will create a new future by creating a new me. No longer will I dwell in a pit of despair, moaning over squandered time and lost opportunity. I can do nothing about the past. My future is immediate. I will grasp it in both hands and carry it with running feet. When I am faced with the  choice of doing nothing or doing something, I will always choose to act! I seize this moment. I choose now.

I am a person of action. I am energetic. I move quickly.

Knowing that laziness is a sin, I will create a habit of lively behavior. I will walk with a spring in my step and a smile on my face. The lifeblood rushing through my veins is urging me upward and forward into activitiy and accomplishment. Wealth and prosperity hide from the sluggard, but rich rewards come to the person who moves quickly.

I am a person of action. I inspire others with my activity. I am a leader.

Leading is doing. To lead, I must move forward. Many people move out of the way for a person on the run; others are caught up in his wake. My activity will create a wave of success for the people who follow. My activity will be consistent. This will instill confidence in my leadership. As a leader, I have the ability to encourage and inspire others to greatness. It is true: an army of sheep led by a lion would defeat an army of lions led by a sheep!

I am a person of action. I can make a decision. I can make it now.

A person who moves neither left nor right is destined for mediocrity. When faced with a decision, many people say they are waiting for God. But I understand, in most cases, God is waiting for me! He has given me a healthy mind to gather and sort information and the courage to come to a conclusion. I am not a quivering dog, indecisive and fearful. My constitution is strong and my pathway clear. Successful people make their decisions quickly and change their minds slowly. Failures make their decisions slowly and change their minds quickly. My decisions come quickly, and they lead to victory.

I am a person of action. I am daring. I am courageous.

Fear no longer has a place in my life. For too long, fear has outweighed my desire to make things better for my family. Never again! I have exposed fear as a vapor, an impostor that never had any power over me in the first place! I do not fear opinion, gossip, or the idle chatter of monkeys, for all are the same to me. I do not fear failure, for in my life, failure is a myth. failure exists only for the person who quits. I do not quit.

I am courageous. I am a leader. I seize this moment. I choose now.

I am a person of action.

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I encourage you now to make some bold decisions in your life, and to take some action! You owe it to yourself to be happy, so go for it!

I look forward to hearing any thoughts or feedback about your experiences with taking action, or of how this or any of the things mentioned here have affected you.

Sending  joy, hope and abundance your way,

Becky Ringler

www.FreeYourSuccessfulMindToday.com

Where You Seek Wisdom is the Key.

Last month I touched upon the concept that we are all responsible for where we are in our lives at this very moment. That we have consciously or unconsciously made choices which put us in situations that led us to exactly the spot we are in now in our lives. And, of course, that this very concept also empowers us to be able to make the moves and decisions to either get out of where we are now, if the situation is not as we desire, or keep moving in the direction our positive actions have taken us, if we are happy with where we are. Hopefully you took on the challenge I set out for you, which Andy Andrews (www.andyandrews.com) suggests in his book, The Traveler’s Gift (which I suggest you get!), and read the passage for the “First Decision for Success” every morning and every night for 21 days straight.

Of course, it is now well over 21 days, and I apologize (truly!) about being slow to set you up with the “Second Decision for Success,” which I will do at the end of this posting. But before I do that, I wanted to just touch upon a topic that will lead directly into this second decision. And that topic has to do with our current media and what is happening now to many of the people around us.

The media is currently bombarding us with tales of doom and gloom about the economy, and how horrible life is for everyone. Many of your neighbors and friends, and perhaps even you, have been laid off, and it seems that everyone is losing their money left and right. We have to be conservative, they tell us. Things are scarce. Fearful. Less giving.

This is exactly why I choose, as it recommends in my Beyond Freedom (the flagship product of the personal development company I work with), to not read the newspapers or magazines or watch the news or focus on anything that breeds fear. I am doing a media fast, although for me, I have not chosen to cut out all media, per se, but rather to be very choosy about what I put into my consciousness. I choose movies or programs (if I watch anything at all) or written materials that instill hope or make me laugh or feel inspired or breed growth. I don’t read the paper, and I avoid internet stories of woe and caution and fear. Life DOES NOT have to be full of sadness and tragedy. This doesn’t mean that I don’t see the dark side of life or that I am avoiding reality. I am just choosing where I am putting my focus and what I am feeding my subconscious mind. It is a choice, and personally, I much prefer starting the morning doing an exercise in my Beyond Freedom, and focusing on my current goal, than reading a story in the paper that makes me feel depressed.

I also am very cautious about whom I spend time with. Luckily, in my community of conscious entreprenuers, I am surrounded by people who are thriving, who always have a positive mindset, and who always make me feel alive, abundant and growing whenever I speak with them, and I, of course, always try to offer the same. Buoys collecting, rising up, in an ocean of fear, to a place of light.

If you are surrounded by people who spread negativity and fear, it is as though you’ve got weights on you, pulling you down. It is at the times we are lowest that we have to see the hope in our situation, the opportunity it is offering us. It is at these times that we must seek wisdom from those who are thriving, those who have learned that setbacks are simply setting us up for something greater. The worst thing you can do at times you are down is talk to others who perceive life to be awful.

You have to ask yourself: if you are down, would you rather take advice from someone who is also struggling and is down, or someone who knows how to get himself out of the hole? I would choose the latter, myself.

And just as that person of wisdom and of bouancy has something to offer you, you also have something to offer others. To be generous with whatever gifts you have, which might be time or kindness or a thank you note or lending an ear or some other talent you have (it does not have to be money), that would be of service and lift someone else up, is one of the greatest things you can offer humanity, especially during times like these.

So remember, life can be beautiful, even in times others say it is not. Seek the wisdom of those who know how to see it, associate with those who will bring you up, and share your gifts in whatever way you can to assist others to come up as well. We can all make this world a better and brighter place just by seeing the joy and abundance and hope that exists around us, if you just know where to look.

With that, I would again like to share an excerpt from Andy Andrew’s (www.andyandrews.com) The Traveler’s Gift (pp. 48-50):

The Second Decision for Success

I will seek wisdom.

 

Knowing that wisdom waits to be gathered, I will actively search her out. My past can never be changed, but I can change the future by changing my actions today. I will change my actions today! I will train my eyes and ears to read and listen to books and recordings that bring about positive changes in my personal relationships and a great understanding of my fellowman. No longer will I bombard my mind with materials that feed my doubts and fears. I will read and listen only to what increases my belief in myself and my future.

 

I will seek wisdom. I will choose my friends with care.

 

I am who my friends are. I speak their language, and I wear their clothes. I share their opinions and their habits. From this moment forward, I will choose to associate with people whose lives and lifestyles I admire. If I associate with chickens, I will learn to scratch at the ground and squabble over crumbs. If I associate with eagles, I will learn to soar to great heights. I am an eagle. It is my destiny to fly.

 

I will seek wisdom. I will listen to the counsel of wise men.

 

The words of a wise man are like raindrops on dry ground. They are precious and can be quickly used for immediate results. Only a blade of grass that catches a raindrop will prosper and grow. The person who ignores wise counsel is like the blade of grass untouched by the rain—soon to wither and die. When I counsel with just myself, I can make decisions only according to what I already know. By counseling with a wise man, I add his knowledge and experience to my own and dramatically increase my success.

 

I will seek wisdom. I will be a servant to others.

 

A wise man will cultivate a servant’s spirit, for that particular attribute attracts people like no other. As I humbly serve others, their wisdom will be freely shared with me. Often, the person who develops a servant’s spirit becomes wealthy beyond measure. Many times, a servant has the ear of the king, and a humble servant often becomes a king, for he is the popular choice of the people. He who serves the most grows the fastest.

 

I will become a humble servant. I will not look for someone to open my door—I will look to open the door for someone. I will not be distressed when no one is available to help me—I will be excited when I am available to help.

 

I will be a servant to others. I will listen to the counsel of wise men. I will choose my friends with care.

 

I will seek wisdom.

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Remember, as Andrews suggests, read the above passage every morning and every night for the next 21 days straight, and see how it gets into your consciousness. I also invite you to do a media fast for the same amount of time, whether it be a true media fast, or a selective fast, as I am doing, and see what happens with all of the spare time on your hands, and good feeling thoughts put into your consciousness.

I hope I have assisted you in some way or another with this blog, and I look forward to hearing any thoughts or feedback about your experience with any of these exercises.

Sending joy, hope and abundance your way,

Becky Ringler

www.freethesuccessfulmind.com

It’s a New Year, and YOU are in Control of Your Life.

You know, it’s funny. I have just come back from the 2009 Kick-Off event with the personal development company I work with, and I am just filled with gratitude for the number of things that have just clicked for me and my business, especially in regards for realizing on a deeper level that I truly have control of my life.

I’ve been a student of personal development for quite a few years now, but it is only recently that I have finally understood something on a heart and energetic level that I only formerly understood intellectually: our present reality is all a result of who we are and what we think. We are totally in control of our lives and of what our present realities are, and, whether we like it or not, our thoughts and our decisions have led us there.

Now, you may say to me at this point, “Hey, I didn’t choose to get laid off!” or “I certainly didn’t choose the hell I’m in right now.” That may absolutely be true on a conscious level, but at some unconscious level, we are all responsible for where we are in the present. We have all made a series of decisions which have led us down the path and to the situation where we are now.

Let me be clear, though. If your current situation is less than ideal, this is not about getting mad at yourself and beating yourself up. This is simply realizing that you do have a choice, and you can actually choose to make things different from this point forward. That is probably one of the coolest things about this concept:  if you are in a place you don’t like, you actually can now make a series of decisions to get you out of wherever you are now, too, just like you got into them. It’s all about taking responsibility for your life and for your decisions and actions, and deciding that you are no longer going to blame anyone or anything else for your current situation.

You don’t have to know exactly how you are going to do this, you just have to have a clear focus on how you do want your life to be, and clearly put that intention out there, and then ask and trust that the universe or God or the energy of source or whatever you’d like to call it will help move events into making it so.

Your only responsibility is to know and believe that things can and will be different, and that what you do want is coming your way; you just have to notice the signs and take the actions and impulses that will come your way as soon as you make this intention known.  Again, focus on what you do want. Write it down, draw it out or  make a vision board, focus on it every day, trust that it will somehow come, and you shall have it.

It’s all up to you. As Andy Andrews (www.andyandrews.com) says in his amazing book, The Traveler’s Gift, “The buck stops here.”

In fact, I highly recommend that you get the above book. It is a story of fiction with real life success principles that all that are a success know and follow.

I have decided that I am going to introduce each of the seven concepts in this and the next six of the blogs I write. Your assignment, like Andrews says through one of his characters, is to read each prinicple each morning and each night for 21 days, until it becomes a part of you. I do, however, highly recommend getting the book (www.andyandrews.com) and reading it in its entirety, since it will give an even greater meaning to the principles I will be quoting. (Just a little FYI, I am on day 12 of the first principle, and I can feel it seeping into every corner of my being.)

So, here is the first decision that I invite you to commit yourself to study, each morning and each night, for the next 21 days:

From The Traveler’s Gift, by Andy Andrews (pp. 32-34).

The First Decision for Success

The buck stops here.

From this moment forward, I will accept responsibility for my past. I understand that the beginning of wisdom is to accept the responsibility for my own problems and that by accepting responsibility for my past, I free myself to move into a bigger, brighter future of my own choosing.

Never again will I blame my parents, my spouse, my boss, or other employees for my present situation. Neither my education nor lack of one, my genetics, or the circumstantial ebb and flow of everyday life will affect my future in a negative way. If I allow myself to blame these uncontrollable forces for my lack of success, I will be forever caught in a web of the past. I will look forward. I will not let my history control my destiny.

The buck stops here. I accept responsibily for my past. I am responsible for my success.

I am where I am today–mentally, physically, spiritually, emotionally, and financially– because of decisions I have made. My decisions have always been governed by my thinking. Therefore, I am where I am today–mentally, physically, spiritually, emotionally, and financially– because of how I think.  Today I will begin the process of changing where I am–mentally, physically, spiritually, emotionally, and financially– by changing the way I think.

My thoughts will be constructive, never destructive. My mind will live in the solutions of the future. It will not dwell in the problems of the past. I will seek the association of those who are working and striving to bring about positive changes in the world. I will never seek comfort by associating with those who have decided to be comfortable.

When faced with the opportunity to make a decision, I will make one. I understand that God did not put in me the ability to always make right decisions. He did, however, put in me the ability to make a decision and then make it right. The rise and fall of my emotional tide will not deter me from my course. When I make a decision, I will stand behind it. My energy will go into making the decision. I will waste none on second thoughts. My life will not be an apology. It will be a statement.

The buck stops here. I control my thoughts. I control my emotions.

In the future when I am tempted to ask the question, “Why me?” I will immediately counter with the answer: “Why not me?” Challenges are gifts, oppotunities to learn. Problems are the common thread running through the lives of great men and women. In times of adversity, I will not have a problem to deal with: I will have a choice to make. My thoughts will be clear. I will make the right choice. Adversity is preparation for greatness. I will accept this prepartation. Why me? Why not me? I will be prepared for something great.

I accept responsibility for my past. I control my thoughts. I control my emotions. I am responsible for my success.

The buck stops here.

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I look forward to hearing your experiences with this exercise, and with any realizations or insights that you have come as a result of truly taking responsibility for your life and your success. Until next time, may you make life fantastic!

Becky Ringler

www.freethesuccessfulmind.com 

What We Focus On, We Attract.

Wow. I have been meaning to write a new blog posting for a few weeks now, and now I am just filled with ideas and insights and lots of things I’d like to share!  In the interest of time, however, I will share the wonderful prosperity consciousness game (the $1000 game) with you in my next blog. Today, however, I have something that is burning inside me that I just have to get out.

I think the biggest thing that has become clearer and clearer to me, even over these past few days, is really how much control we have of our experience, and how often we put limits on ourselves without being aware of it. The Law of Attraction says that we attract what we focus on, and what we believe is what our reality will be. 

For instance, if we are constantly focused on what we don’t have, we get more of that. If we believe that “that will never happen” it probably won’t. You’ve just told the universe that it won’t happen, and you are putting out that vibration, so the universe simply follows what you are putting out. However, if you focus on what you DO want, and BELIEVE that you shall have it, the universe will also do what it’s told because you are vibrationally telling it what you believe is the reality, and with focus and belief, it will make it so.

Let me pause here to make a brief comment for those of you who may not get what I mean by vibrational energy or think that sounds hokey. Basically, if you’ve ever noticed when you are really happy or really frustrated, you have certain energies about you. When you are super happy, you may feel like you are floating on air and everything around you seems to radiate happiness. Or maybe you are having a bad day and you feel like you are in a dark cloud, and everything else seems to be in a dark cloud as well. Well, this is all vibrational energy. You know, good vibes, bad vibes. We are all filled with energies at different times. I encourage you (if you don’t do this already) to start to notice very happy or successful people, and notice the kind of energy they have. And likewise, people that always seem to be complaining about one thing or another, notice what kind of energy they seem to have as well. Notice how you feel when you are around these different types of people, and you will begin to notice what I mean by vibrational energy, and begin to choose what kind of energy you would like to have on a more regular basis.

Thinking about this idea of vibration, and about getting what you focus on, I had an interesting experience with a prospect last week. She was a student of the Law of Attraction, and was very interested in my business, and at first was very excited. Her energy was excited and she was putting out wonderful vibrations. But then, as she began to ask another colleague some questions, I noticed that her energy changed; she kept pointing out all the reasons it couldn’t work or didn’t work for someone else. It surely couldn’t be true if these people couldn’t do it.

After listening to her limit herself in every direction, I simply made the observation to her that she had spent a long time trying to disprove something she had very much wanted to be true, and focused on only those that had failed. Negativity everywhere. She was convinced that others had failed and so would she. Which, of course, she probably would, since she didn’t believe she could succeed. Interestingly, she had chosen to recognize those that had failed rather than the thousands that are succeeding, that know it’s true and are seeing huge results. She didn’t see herself as a success; someone who would surely be one of the “succeeders.” She identified with those that had failed, and, of course, that is what you will get in your life if that’s who you identify yourself with.

I am not writing this to put her down. I am making an example of this to make the point that what you focus on, you will get. There are plenty of people, of course, that see the business for the amazing opportunity that it is, and succeed wildly. I know that’s how I felt. I saw it, and immediately saw how I could succeed. And that has been my reality.

What I love about my business is that I am surrounded by like-minded people who have tuned in to the right vibrations, resulting in success, abundance and happiness. We are in the business of self-empowerment, and teaching people how to use their minds and their vibrational energies to create the lives they’ve always wanted.

Of course, most people are simply so afraid of taking a leap of faith or doing something out of the norm that their subconscious mind finds whatever reason it can to talk them out of something that might be just the thing they are looking for. Because they simply don’t BELIEVE that they can succeed.

And that is okay, because I’m not looking for everyone. I’m looking for entrepreneurs, those who truly believe that losing is NOT an option, who play big or go home, who are not cows simply following the herd. I am looking for those who KNOW they can succeed and will. I am looking for those who know how, or want to learn how, to be the leaders in their own lives.

After all, what we focus on, we attract.

May you all practice this idea, and use any negative feelings that do come up (now you know what you don’t want) as a guidepost for what you DO want, so you can get to the place we all deserve to be: in a place of joy and happiness.

To Your Success and With Gratitude,

Becky Ringler    www.freeyoursuccessfulmindtoday.com.

A Little Story of Introduction

I would like to take a moment to welcome you to my very first blog post, a big day for me, since I have been thinking about doing this for a long time, but struggled with how I might frame my thoughts, and what my theme, specifically, might be. Last night, it all became clear to me. Or at least clear to me that I needed to start writing and go from there.

So here I am, writing my first post! I have to warn you: I am apt to write run-on sentences now and then, only because sometimes I feel like I have so much to say that if I were speaking, it would be one sentence, so I defy the editor in my head and write it anyway!

To start, I think I’d like to give you all a little background about me, just so you’ll have some context about me and where I am coming from and what has inspired me, and we’ll both have fun specifically seeing where this will go!

First off, let’s start with the fact that throughout my life, I always had dreams of where I was going to go, and what I wanted to do. Of course, I have found that this keeps changing. At very first recollection, I wanted to be an artist and live on a farm. Then I wanted to get into advertising (I was only 10 or so) because I really loved commercials. Then I decided I’d rather BE in the commercials instead, and thus began my pursuit of becoming a professional actress. I had laser focus throughout my high school years and found myself at Northwestern University, studying theatre (and a lot of other things, mainly many foreign languages). That passion led me to a career as a professional actress in New York City, after a year-long stint as an English teacher in the public middle schools in Japan.

My time as an actress taught me many things about life, and about myself. One of the main things was that I had really gotten in to theatre to inspire people to make positive changes in their lives. My acting teacher at Northwestern always used to say that if you did a Chekov play properly, you’d have people running from the theatre to make that call they never made or say that thing they never said. However, I realized, after nearly four years and relative success as an actress, other than the few people that stopped me on the street to tell me they loved my show, I never really got to see if I ever made a difference in anyone’s life.

Also, having lived with an 80+year old former entertainment star, and meeting her friends of various ages come through the house, I realized that no matter how good you got, the message was really all the same: you are only as good as your last show.

I realized that although I knew I could make a living at acting — and let me make it clear that I am not knocking the profession; I still have many friends, several of whom are very successful in theatre and on tv – I wanted something more fulfilling for myself. I wanted more control and freedom over my life. I wanted to assist others in a way I could see, but still creatively.

That led me to moving to San Francisco and pursuing and receiving my masters degree in Counseling Psychology, with a concentration in Expressive Arts therapy. I used my degree and worked in a hospital for nearly five years doing arts and healing work with a mainly geriatric population. It was very fulfilling work for the most part, and I actually DID see that I was making a difference in peoples’ lives.

However, I started noticing a trend. No matter whom I talked with, whether they’d had the most amazing and adventurous life (I am thinking of one lady, in particular, who spoke five or six languages, and had been an international lawyer who traveled everywhere and had so much life and happiness in her), or whether they were bitter because they had been waiting their whole lives to do what they really wanted to do and have fun (but now it was all coming to an end and that had never happened), the message was the same: LIVE YOUR LIFE WHILE YOU CAN. ENJOY IT! ADD VALUE TO OTHER PEOPLES’ LIVES AND HAVE FUN WITH YOUR OWN. STOP BEING AFRAID AND JUST GO FOR IT!

It finally hit me loud and clear. I love to travel, I’ve always been entrepreneurial, really thrive on a less than typical work structure, and I wanted to live a free life and do work that I enjoy and actually get PAID for it. (That money thing. That was one thing that was hard to me to admit to myself that was important. It’s not exactly “cool” in the helping professions to want anything for yourself, especially money, which is only for those “selfish” people.). Finally, I really looked at things and realized that I was not going to be able to help anyone else, or give to the causes or create the foundations I wanted to create, and do the things I wanted to do, if I was also one of those people who had no money. Or time.

So, that began a new search. What on earth could I do that still allowed me to use my passion for helping others, while still feeling like I was still constantly growing and learning, while having FUN, having freedom and time, and getting paid a ton for it?  

Now, that may sound like a bit of a stretch. We are told that if it sounds too good to be true, it probably is. However, I  knew for a fact that not all things that seem that way are so. Afterall, the last apartment I had in San Fran before I got married is definitely something most people would say was too good to be true. But it wasn’t. I believed I could find a top floor room in an apartment, that was large and spacious, with nice roommates, in a nice area of town, that was under $500. Now, in San Francisco, there are almost NO rooms under $600, and if they are, they are usually glorified closets. However, I kept BELIEVING that it would be so. And one day, there it was on Craigslist. Just what I was looking for. And for $425 a month (less than half what I was paying for a smaller room a few blocks away). Needless to say, I was there until I got married and I moved to the East Bay.

The point is, I’ve had plenty of evidence in my life of believing things into existence. My husband is another example. So, why should my quest for the perfect career and life be any different? So, I kept looking. Something fun, freeing, interesting, helpful, and lucrative. And, finally, one day I found it. An entrepreneurial opportunity with an international personal development company.

And that is how I am, with my own business, that is based in the Law of Attraction (please feel free to see the movie for free at www.thesecret.tv for examples of the Law of Attraction at work), doing something that I believe in with a group of other entrepreneurs that know how to live life and love it.

To be surrounded by a community that is constantly learning and growing and teaching and receiving and realizing that nothing in the world holds us back is amazing. And to be able to offer this opportunity to others, and assist them in creating the lives that they want and deserve is envigorating.

It is only the limitations we have in our mind that keep us from having the life we really want. And the good thing is, we can create whatever reality we really want if we just believe we can have it.

In this blog, I hope to offer insights and learnings and thoughts and fun games to try to bring prosperity consciousness into our lives – like the $1000 game my husband and I have started to play as a result of the Abraham Hicks exercise we heard last night on the cd included in the book Money and the Law of Attraction (it’s AMAZING, and goes hand in hand with the personal development course, Beyond Freedom, that we market and use in our company), which I will tell you more about next time.

For now, I guess I just want to say that I am thankful to have a place to tell my story, and to share the many insights, successes, abundance, and all sorts of things that come into my being on a regular basis. I will probably post once a week or so, but we’ll see how that goes, too. I’ll keep it flexible and in the flow.

On that note, I’ll leave you with this: success, abundance and happiness are all waiting for you to simply open yourself up to to them and receive them. www.freeyoursuccessfulmindtoday.com